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Time spent with your dog is a major signal to the dog of your commitment. Time also nurtures attachment, affection: love. Communicating patiently with your dog—kindness in your efforts to help the dog understand, and persistence in trying to understand the dog’s efforts to communicate with you—also nurtures love. Pro trainers often handle dogs they do not know well. The dogs don’t know that trainer’s specific body language, although the trainer may have a generally good command of body language that works with dogs. But more disturbing is that the trainer will inevitably misread dogs and attribute the wrong motives to what a dog does. Thus so many dogs get labeled “dominant” by trainers who often don’t understand the concept. “Dominance” is only a word. Unfortunately, it justifies mistreatment of dogs because if a dog is “dominant,” oh my, that must be bad, right? The dog is just waiting for us to show a sign of weakness and then will—do what? Well, if the dog were actually dominant and saw the beloved owner show a sign of weakness, the dog would attempt to watch over and help you. The dog would alert you to danger or anything else you needed to know, including a crying baby. The dog would help you get up if you fell. A “dominant” dog, in truth, is a diligent caretaker of weaker members of the pack! It’s “dominant” to go find food, eat it, return to the pack, and regurgitate for pups and sometimes for others in the pack who need to eat and can’t hunt. Dominance causes dogs to do loving things. Even a male dog “flattening” a female to keep her behind him at the property boundary is showing a protective act of love for her. Look closely and you’ll see she goes down without actual physical pressure from him most of the time, and comes up grinning—as if to say “Yep, I knew he was going to do that!” She feels safe under his protection. She feels secure. She feels loved. Dogs get accused of being “stubborn” too. What is that? In most cases it’s a denigrating word used to describe a trait humans have bred into dogs for specific purposes. A retriever will “stubbornly” keep searching for the downed bird to bring it to the hunter. A terrier will “stubbornly” persist in pursuing critters on the farm that spoil the crops and cripple livestock that step in holes they make. A herding dog will “stubbornly” work keeping livestock animals safely within boundaries all day. A better word to use with dogs than “stubborn” is “persistent.” Once you teach the dog the behavior you want, you will likely find these types of dog persistently perform that behavior very well! The word “stubborn” implies the dog behaving in opposition to your wishes, as does the word “dominant.” But in both cases, it is unlikely the dog is thinking that way. When humans are led to believe that is how dogs think, serious miscommunication results. When that damages your bond—your LOVE—with your dog, you lose, and the dog loses even more.
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